Laughter, sex, dark chocolate, and exercise

The other day I was talking to a psychotherapist in one of those typical ADHD wandering conversations, and we ended up talking about alternatives to medication when it comes to depression. She referred to another conversation she had had (see the ADHD wanderings?) where she had asked them what their alternative recommendation was. The answer was: “Laughter, sex, dark chocolate, and exercise.”

If you type that list into Google, you get some variations but all of them are indeed mentioned as being great for the Happiness Hormones: endorphins, dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin.

It turns out that they are also very good for ADHD functioning. Who’d have thought it…. To me joy is the foundation of a good and content ADHD life. I am definitely not saying that I am always happy. Right now I am coming out of a few very tough years where noone could have thought I was being flooded by happiness hormones.

Right now though I can feel myself beginning to feel joy again. The country I am in (Italy) is helping with its sunshine and relaxed feel, both of which are supporting my nervous system to get out of its survival state. The moments of joy are building and they will keep me out of that survival state.

As I discussed in my last newsletter, neurodivergent people are particularly susceptible to developmental trauma and CPTSD due to the way their brains develop, with decreased synaptic pruning and hyperneuroplasticity. This means that it is extremely important that we look after our mental health and that in turn means that we have to make sure to have those regular moments of joy in our lives.

And yet, we often don’t. We often prioritise work and commitments, due to the misplaced belief that those are more essential. We then try to reduce the number of commitments in an attempt to reduce our overwhelm. None of that will be successful if we don’t also focus on joy.

Stress is part of our everyday life and is inescapable. It is not necessarily a negative as us humans have the ability to combat stress through psychological defence mechanisms, like reframing, mindfulness, and acceptance or humour, to name a few. However if stress is prolonged and chronic, it can lead to poor health outcomes. Imagine a constant flood of adrenaline and cortisol in your body, attacking your organs, and you can understand that there will be long term effects, such as anxiety, sleep difficulties, hypertension, increased risk of heart attacks and strokes, insulin resistance, etc etc.

If we look at healthcare, and specifically at person-centred health care, research shows that reducing suffering (i.e. pain) does not necessarily increase psychological well-being. Any therapeutic framework HAS to also focus on the positive dimensions of our quality of life, like joy, love, and social connectedness.

Taking all this into account, how can laughter, sex, dark chocolate, and exercise help us?

Laughter

Boosts endorphins, which are your body’s natural painkillers. Shared laughter boosts oxytocin, the social bonding hormone.

Have you ever tried laughter yoga? For those of you who have never heard of it, laughter yoga is a practice where, together with a group of people, you force yourself to laugh. And at first it feels forced, but then the fact that everyone is laughing makes you laugh. For me it seems to go in waves of feeling stupid and actually laughing.

If you wonder how much of this is true, here is an experiment for you. Have a look at this video on YouTube and tell me if you ended up laughing.

Sex

Endorphins naturally increase during physical intimacy, as does dopamine (and us ADHDers really need this dopamine, which explains a lot). It also boosts serotonin (a mood stabiliser) to keep you content and relaxed post-intimacy, which may explain why that is one of the few times that our minds shut up (or at least mine does).  And it promotes physical and emotional intimacy, which causes a flood of oxytocin.

So pretty good all around.

For those of you who are single and wondering where to go with this, massage also produces oxytocin and endorphins in both the masseur and the person being massaged.

Dark Chocolate

I am very happy to be able to tell you that dark chocolate encourages endorphin production. It also releases serotonin (through tryptophan, an amino acid our bodies transform into serotonin), lowers cortisol (the stress hormone), and releases dopamine.

Milk chocolate does work, but to a much lesser level. It should preferably contain 70% to 85% cocoa solids. Dark chocolate is now on my standard shopping list.

Exercise

Releases endorphins (typical ‘runner’s high’) and elevates serotonin production. Moreover, regular cardiovascular exercise helps raise dopamine levels, which explains why exercise is so very important for ADHDers.

I am sneakily adding meditation to this list

Triggers endorphin, dopamine, serotonin, and melatonin release. Meditation does not just include focus meditation, which is what many people think it is. It also includes mindfulness, movement meditation (eg dance), repeating a sound (eg chanting, praying, singing), body scan, and loving kindness meditations.

And another sneaky one - nature

Raises serotonin levels. As ADHDers we find the minutiae of life with all its decisions and details exhausting. Being in nature allows our attention to soften into a much more (to us) natural day dream-like focus. Being in nature also helps our emotions to regulate, and because of all these things, it improves our mood and makes us less snappy.

Think of forest bathing, gardening, staring at the sea.

Another one…. Scents

A particularly apt one for those of us with an extreme sense of smell, the use of essential oils can have a big effect on mood. It triggers the brain to release serotonin and dopamine. I often use some essential oil drops in warm water when I do the cleaning (which I loathe doing).

Sorry.. One more…. Creativity

Can stimulate dopamine release, which again, for us ADHDers, we can always use more of. Painting, drawing, writing, playing music. If you struggle to do a task that you have been procrastinating on for days, weeks, or months, do something creative first and see if it helps. We need that extra shot of dopamine to help us over the hump and let us start a task.

Very last one…. Sunshine

Boosts serotonin levels. I notice this one tremendously. When I lived in the UK, winters were awful. The lack of sunlight would send my mood plummeting. Now in Italy, I feel so much better.

In conclusion, there is much we can do to up our happiness hormones, and once they are up, everything becomes easier. So next time that you feel you cannot afford to do the fun thing as you feel you have to prioritise the ‘should’s’, try to do the fun thing anyway and see whether afterwards the task felt easier than expected.

p.s. another cohort will be starting my Spark & Steady Couples programme on the 1st of July. Message me if you want more info.

Warm wishes,